Give us this day our daily Mondegreen

A certain number of us hear the first line of "America the beautiful" as "Oh beautiful for spacious guys". This line has great appeal for us fat guys or any one us for whom the 105 year old excerpt from the Northport (Michigan) leader mentioned the return of a noted of my grandfather businessman from downstate saying "All his friends gathered to speak to 'Fat Charlie' " Those wishing to research "Mondegreens" in depth are recommended to all ten years of Jon Carroll's archive under "SFGate", the online version of the San Francisco Chronicle. You might also be titillated by his Hemingwayization of a trip to IKEA to buy a table.

I guess I have been a "spacious guy" ever since I was champion weight-gainer in the 7th grade. I did reach a local minimum attending Ordnance School at the beginning of my compulsory military service; having no wheels, I habitually skipped lunch and was at 150 in my Detroit aunt's house on the way home for Christmas. At home, I am sure I sang that car0l in which "Round John Virgin" appears; being on the farm, I was also much captivated by that carol "Silo at Night".

I caught the train to Huntsville, AL and rode into town with a bird colonel, soon to be a general and executive officer for the post. On New Years Day we greeted the post commander and I had my first caviar. My reaction was that of a subsequent state university colleague from Minnesota who said "I don't eat bait". I stayed pretty steady until the night before I was wed, when my mom prophecied "Well, if you marry that German girl, you're going to gain weight". (From Mom's language, you could wonder if she thought I had an honorable alternative choice)
Well, in fairness, my mother-in-law, whom I dearly loved, was also important. I did carry my bride over the threshold of our first rented house but I am no longer the man I once was; to be complete, she is no longer the girl she was. However, neither of us has gotten an ultimatum from our doctors; Spacious is okay, one hopes.