Is Bad Hair a Felony?

In the past week, a former governor of the state of Illinois, famous for his ample black hair, was sentenced to 14 years in state prison for his offenses. Meanwhile, a blowhard named Donald Trump threatened to sponsor a debate for GOP presidential candidates until a total lack of interest became manifest. Mr Trump has for a long time been famous for a flagrant combover of the hairs of his head, plus perhaps augmentations. There has been no published threat of prosecution of Mr Trump for hair offenses. Now, to this writer, it appears that there is a shortage of space for incarceration of the likes of MR's Trump or Blagoyovich and that prison capacity should be reserved for those who are proven threats to the health of society. The fates of the gentlemen just mentioned should be grouped with smokers of hashish; The scarce resources of the state should be devoted to the nourishment of deserving poor, children and the aged. Other offenses should be punished by fines and similar penalties. Those who continue to grow hair should be left to do it. If cash becomes less scarce, some might be devoted to providing hats to those individuals who no longer can protect their bare scalps.from ultraviolet radiation.